Our Mistakes, God's Beauty

Our oldest children crossing a creek that had a stronger current than expected
in Oregon, last summer

Yesterday I had another appointment with the surgeon who will be performing the C-section next Friday.  My husband was there and got to meet him.  There will also be a student Doctor assisting and we met him as well. 

As the date approaches nearer, so does some extra anxiety.... there's always a swirl of emotions surrounding me.  I feel like one of Jesus disciples in the boat when the storm comes and then I begin sinking in the waves of doubt and fear.  Am I still doing the right thing?  I try to see past the mounting dread of surgery and on to the beauty and gift of our precious new born baby boy.  I feel him daily.  He's alive, he's kicking, he's healthy and we can't wait to meet him.  It is so difficult to focus on this joy when you know the pain and suffering that must be endured.

An almost hidden bird nest we found while camping with friends
 in Washington last summer

God knows when I'm struggling deeply and at the end of a yesterday, filled with mistakes on so many levels, He choose to bless me.  We forgot papers, groceries, and so many other detours that I ended up in town at 8:30 in the evening with one last trip to Wal-mart.  It had been an incredibly long day.  I'm never in town this late and my feet were aching and I didn't want to have to do any more walking.  Finally we came out done with our shopping and there parked next to us was this gigantic 15 passenger van filled to brimming with kids and their Mother waiting.  I smiled and waved and then I couldn't resist.  I turned around just as the other Mother was unlocking her doors and motioning me to come over. 

She rolled down her window and asked when I was due or something to that effect and we just began fellowshipping in the Lord and how good He is.  She has had 9 C-sections!  Do you know how much I needed to hear this and see a healthy Mama and van full of healthy children just then?  It was salve to my soul to relate and share stories and hear of God's goodness.  What are the chances of being in all of Fairbanks at that moment and in that parking space?  That is no chance.  God is in control.  He loves us.  He longs to bless us and encourage us with His people wherever they may be. 

This family just moved to town last week!  I gave her contact info. and hope we can connect after we each get settled from our various life changes just now.  It's just another taste of Heaven, seeing how amazing God is and how He's been working all down through the centuries in everyone's lives. 

My feet were burning and my back ached by the time we got done visiting, but my heart and soul were soaring and free and I came home refreshed deeply in my Spirit.  I just wanted to read in my Bible and seek God all the more.  Now that's how we should come away from fellow Christians...,. inspired to be with God and enjoy Him always. 

I was musing about all those U-turns, mistakes, forgetfulness and upsets in my day.  But God used all of them to perfect His timing and ability to get both of our families the encouragement we needed for that moment.  He is truly amazing!

A little frog from Oregon, last summer that we saw popping out of his home to greet us...

I don't normally post old pictures on my blog, but I felt they captured something of what I was trying to communicate.  This will be our first birth away from Oregon, our home state and where we all grew up.